


Take Off Your Colors

by Youaremypeach



Category: Original Work, Original characters - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:02:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23340334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youaremypeach/pseuds/Youaremypeach
Summary: Typical dumb romance/drama follows the story of 22 year old Jemma Moon, a hot headed and emotional stoner trying to find unconditional love in her 20s. Jemma meets a 25 year old man named Levi with an apathetic aura and a track record of sleeping around.Perhaps her sensitivity will be enough to break down the walls Levi puts around himself.





	Take Off Your Colors

**Author's Note:**

> This story is something I write for me and only me so I’m not takin critiques  
Either enjoy it or don’t  
If you do leave a comment :>  
Song is nutshell by Alice In Chains

2:30 am  
I’m sitting on the couch in tears, which has become the standard in my 5 year relationship with Cody

“Look I know I fucked up but don’t act like you didn’t push me to that point.” Cody says with obviously fake tears in his eyes

“I got bored. You....” he sighs “You got boring.”

The rain outside taps against the screen door to the balcony, I focus on it to avoid this shitty conversation. Cody and I were friends all through high school and finally started dating after we graduated. After about 3 years we started to fight more than usual but all relationships have rough patches right? Or so I thought until he cheated for the first time. I remember how I felt when I saw the messages on his phone. The other girl getting to hear the sweet talk I never received anymore or the dates that I didn’t get to go on. I did what any girl would do, I ignored it and decided that maybe if change myself I’d fix it. We moved in together, my idea. We move closer to his job, his idea. At first the spark was there again, it felt like we first started dating again. I thought to myself, his cheating was a one time thing. It certainly won’t happen again as long as I keep being a good girlfriend. Then, six months later, he started drinking. He’d be out almost every night and would stumble in at the wee hours of the morning passing out without so much a hello. I ,of course, ignored it. Then he stopped trying as hard to hide it. Almost like he was saying “hey you dumb bitch I don’t love you anymore, please don’t make me say it.” Then tonight he sat me down and finally revealed he had been seeing another girl. Before you say it, I know I should’ve been the one to leave.

“Jemma? Earth the fucking Jemma!” Cody snapped

“See this is your problem, you wanna be all loud and emotional until someone puts you in your place. Now look at you. You’re spacing out not even paying attention.” He scoffs and grabs his suitcase and some boxes.

“I’ll be back to get the rest of my stuff tomorrow.” He starts to head out the door and for some reason my body feels like it’s fused to the couch. Every bit of me is screaming to chase after him and beg him not to leave. However, I mentally start to shut down, staring at him blankly. He gets to the door then stops

“What happened to you Jemma?” He sighed He slams the door and I listen to the sound of his foot steps fade away.  
Cody was wrong, I fucked up.

11:18 am

I wake up in my bathroom floor in a daze barely comprehending what’s happening. I hear someone pounding at the door. Stumbling and gripping the counter for support I stand up to answer it.

“Jesus Christ I’m coming! Hold your horses!” I yell but not loud enough worsen my already bad migraine

I open the door to find my friend Mandy looking out of breath

“I rushed...*gasp*..here as fast as I could” she stammers

“Why didn’t you call me after Cody dumped you?”

I think back to last night and all it’s holy shit glory. My ears ring and I groan in pain. Mandy, after taking one good look at me, finds the empty bottle of jack on the couch along with beer cans and a blunt roach.

“Jesus did y’all break up or party?”

I flop on the couch and pull out a pack of cigarettes.

“Hey! I thought you quit?!”

“God you’re annoying.” I say lighting my cigarette

“Aww did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bathroom floor?” Mandy asks chuckling

Rolling my eyes, I ash my cigarette into Cody’s grandmother’s urn as a fuck you. Don’t be fooled, Mandy and I are the closest friends can get without an awkward lesbian experience. She’s always been there for me and has never made me doubt our friendship. Hell I’d trust her with my life at this point. We may not verbally say it but we genuinely care about each other. She sits next to me and pulls gets a joint of of the small altoid container in her purse. She lights it and passes it to me.

“Here, you look like you need it.” She says I take a long drag off of it and hand it back.

My headache seems to simmer down once I exhale.

“So.” She takes a puff “ wanna tell me what the bastard said?”

“Not really, nothing to tell.” I mumble taking the Joint from her

“Really nothing? You guys were together for five years. There had to have been a long conversation.”

I blow few smoke rings then ash it.

“He told me he was seeing someone else which I kinda already knew and...” I trail off 

“And?” She looks confused

“I couldn’t do anything...I just shut down and watched him walk out the door” I look down at my feet feeling sorry for myself.

“That’s not the Jemma I know. The Jemma I know would’ve got up and fought for him to stay” She exclaims

I look up at her eyes full of tears. She smiles sweetly and hands me a tissue.

“That meant it was time for you guys to split. You didn’t fight because deep down, you knew that too.” She explains

“Not only that but if anyone cheats on you then you leave, no questions asked. You’re worth more than that.”

I wipe my eyes and look away. I didn’t believe her. I know I’m not worth more, that why Cody cheated. That’s why he left without so much as looking back.

“Hey let’s go get breakfast!” Mandy insisted “My treat”

I didn’t feel like being in public but I knew if I said no Mandy would just pester me. Plus free food.

“ sure lemme go change” I say

Walking into the bedroom triggered the feelings that seemed to be missing last night. I swallow them down and look in my closet for something to wear. I opt for a hoodie and some stone washed jeans. I look in the mirror to see yesterday’s make up smeared and my choppy, shortish, brown hair a mess. I brush it out and throw on a beanie before cleaning up my make up. I grab my Keys wallet and phone before heading out the door with Mandy. Mandy gives me a pouty look.

“Jemieee can you drive? You know traffic at this hour is too much for me.” She pouts

I roll my eyes before hopping in the driver side of my car and driving to the family owned brunch place 10 minutes from my apartment. We sit down, Mandy looks at the menu while I stir my coffee mindlessly. She puts her menu down tilting her head.

“Ugh fuck Cody he made you all boring. Normally we’d be cracking jokes at the art students walking in here.” She pouts once more

“I’m not boring you harpy, my head just hurts..” I mumble

The waitress takes our order and afterwards we discuss our plans for our trip to Portland in May. Our conversation helps take my mind off the Cody situation until a familiar face walks in. Cody walks inside and with him is a woman. She’s tall, has long red hair, and is wearing a short sun dress with anchors on it. Her face looks like it was hand crafted by the gods without a single imperfection. Of course this is who had his attention, I can’t compete with someone like that. I hide my face behind the wall next to our booth. Mandy looks over and snears.

“Ugh she looks so plastic, fuck her”

I shake my head.

“It’s not her fault. She wasn’t the one who broke my heart. It’s not fair to take that out on her.” I whisper

Mandy continues to give them both a hateful stare until they grab their to go orders and leave without noticing I’m here. The waitress brings over our food and I start to chow down. After a strangely quiet breakfast I take Mandy to her car and head inside after she leaves. When I walk in the apartment is noticeably empty and there’s a key on the coffee table. Next to it there’s a note that read

**left my half of the rent for next month on the counter to help you out. Sorry things didn’t work out. -Cody**

I crumple the note and breakdown into tears. How can he date me for five years and this is all he says to me. Why am I so hard to love? Why do I have to be so emotional about everything? Why the one time I needed to be emotional I couldn’t? All these questions weren’t helping how I was feeling and there wasn’t really an answer I could soothe myself with. In a way I was angry with myself for allowing the relationship to become what it was. I should’ve left when he cheated the first time. The bitter truth is it **did **get to that point and there was nothing that could change that now. I walk into the kitchen and see that literally every single dish and cooking ware is gone. I own all the essentials but I would have to retrieve them from my mothers which sounded like a big glass of nope after the day I had. Then again she might be happy we broke up and I might actually have a pleasant conversation with her. I could also send my sister to grab them but I’ve already asked her enough favors this week. I sigh heavily and grab my keys, leaving my dismal apartment.

I spark up a joint on the way to my moms blasting sublime to cheer me up. I was really looking forward to going into work the next day. Something about pressing a tiny needle into someone repeatedly is therapeutic. I actually love my job since I own my tattoo shop and am my own boss. Even in the rough parts of my life, my shop has always been there and so have my coworkers. We are basically a family. I pull into the drive way of my old house and ring the door bell. Instant regret fill my head when my mom answers the door.

”Jemma what the hell are you doing here? What you don’t call me for almost two years and now you think you can suddenly come home like nothing is wrong” she goes on and on

”Mom look I just need my stuff in storage.” I say avoiding her questions

”oh did Mr rolling stone decide to let you have at least 15 percent of the apartment for your things?”

I finally sit down and tell her everything that happened. 

“Jemma I told you he wasn’t good for you. I told you it would end this way but you still moved in together.” My mother nags

I take a deep breath and ignore her pressing the matter.

“Mom I just need my stuff in the attic, I’m not in the mood to discuss it anymore.” I say

She sniffs the air and makes a face.

“Ah you’ve been toking up again, what would your father say?.” She sneered

My mom and I were really close until I moved out to go live with Cody. I keep my visits short since she can’t avoid the subject long enough to say hello. Deep down I feel guilty because I know after my dad died her fun and quirky attitude turned into snarky bitterness. I know that I abandoned her in her time of need and trust me I know I’m a shitty daughter. I my grab boxes and load up my car. There are a few boxes of my dads things that I go through. I find a picture of him and I when I was 10 wearing his motorcycle helmet. We regularly went on trips together and I always had so much fun with my dad. He taught me to stop and enjoy life regardless of how shitty things got. I didn’t help me after he died however. The call I got after the accident I’ll never forget. My mother crying and holding me while my older sister sobs on the phone. Me? I felt numb. It was one of the few times in my life I didn’t cry, I didn’t get angry, I just shut down. My dad taught me how to enjoy life but not how to enjoy it without him. I had to learn how to love life again. To this day I know he would’ve wanted me to thrive and grow rather than Mourn. He was the one who introduced me to tattoos and supported my art. Even through my mother’s doubts. I pack his things back up and take them down to my car After I pack the last box away my mom taps me on the shoulder.

“You dropped this. Shouldn’t be so careless with your fathers things you know!” She nags once again

I take my dads ring and put it on. It hangs on a silver chain around my neck since it’s too big to fit around my finger. I tell my mom goodbye and head home. Watching the starting to set, I turn up my radio.

** _we_ **

** _chase misprinted lies_ **

** _we_ **

** _face the path of time_ **

I start to tear up 

_**And yet I fight** _

** _and yet I fight_ **

** _this battle all alone _ **

The warm air surrounds me as I roll my windows down

_ **no one to cry to** _

_ **no place to call home** _

The sky turns a shade of orangey pink that look like it was painted by Bob Ross himself. 

It still hurt but Mandy was right it had been a long time coming. Of course I’m not gonna wake up tomorrow and be completely moved on. Hell I probably won’t even be done crying about it a month from now. However, I knew in the moment, I was going to be okay.

_ **if I can’t be my own ** _

_ **I’d feel better dead ** _


End file.
